










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
662 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,665 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 413 | 25% |
| Smokes | 572 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 247 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 433 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $75,212 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DamCaddy | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | bonky | 75% | 12 |
| #3 | Moth.E | 68% | 28 |
| #4 | Lack of Thumbs | 67% | 27 |
| #5 | solo | 64% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Frud | 63% | 35 |
| #7 | Migs | 56% | 32 |
| #8 | uripls | 50% | 4 |
| #9 | Madelyn Climb | 25% | 4 |
| #10 | UN1TY (INTP-A) | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frud | 4 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Moth.E | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Migs | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | solo | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Migs | 82 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Frud | 75 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Lack of Thumbs | 65 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | DamCaddy | 31 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | solo | 21 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 肛門拳 | +3.74 | 72 | 59 |
| #2 | Migs | +3.25 | 79 | 65 |
| #3 | uripls | +2.37 | 56 | 55 |
| #4 | DamCaddy | +1.86 | 74 | 65 |
| #5 | Lack of Thumbs | +0.18 | 66 | 48 |





