








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 297 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 48 matches | ||
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1958 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,414 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 224 | 16% |
| Smokes | 521 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 167 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 502 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $470,713 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1923 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XpR | 73 | 0.0254 |
| #2 | darkarcher41206 | 48 | 0.0160 |
| #3 | Fritz | 19 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Slawbunnies69 | 14 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | Ps1k0 | 13 | 0.0188 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fritz | 277 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #2 | XpR | 276 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | darkarcher41206 | 269 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | papi | 193 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Slawbunnies69 | 138 | 0.07 | 3 min |





