








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 684 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 175 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 137 matches | ||
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5765 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,911 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2413 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3277 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 204 | 2% |
| Molotovs | 6017 | 51% |
Our logs show you have wasted $695,256 of utility $32 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 779 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | papi | 1520 | 0.11 | 43 min |
| #2 | XpR | 682 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #3 | darkarcher41206 | 523 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #4 | WHO? | 413 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| #5 | Slawbunnies69 | 258 | 0.06 | 5 min |





