








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1073 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 116 matches | ||
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




151 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8093 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,994 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6591 | 39% |
| Smokes | 4429 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1723 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 4251 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,777,989 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2855 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...





