








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 466 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 107 matches | ||
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2608 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,058 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1748 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1101 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1732 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1477 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,102,715 of utility $241 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 457 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nug | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | https://royalreels21.com/ | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | RGB | 52% | 112 |
| #4 | R0cco | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | VANNOS ✨ | 49% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Peach | 48% | 31 |
| #7 | Elo Goblin | 46% | 28 |
| #8 | ZeroRecoil | 46% | 37 |
| #9 | Ladyboy Linguist | 44% | 18 |
| #10 | Femboy Fever | 40% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VANNOS ✨ | 14 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | RGB | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Femboy Fever | 8 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | https://royalreels21.com/ | 4 | 0.0086 |
| #5 | Ladyboy Linguist | 4 | 0.0111 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Femboy Fever | 322 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | VANNOS ✨ | 251 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | RGB | 165 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Peach | 109 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | ZeroRecoil | 52 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | https://royalreels21.com/ | +1.39 | 63 | 46 |
| #2 | Elo Goblin | +0.94 | 79 | 55 |
| #3 | d0g | +0.86 | 84 | 52 |
| #4 | VANNOS ✨ | +0.77 | 64 | 54 |
| #5 | ZeroRecoil | +0.76 | 78 | 53 |





