








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 637 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 193 matches | ||
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 197 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3386 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,785 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2512 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3541 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3703 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3029 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,305,220 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 554 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d0g | 52% | 112 |
| #2 | ZeroRecoil | 52% | 85 |
| #3 | VANNOS ✨ | 51% | 172 |
| #4 | Elo Goblin | 50% | 150 |
| #5 | R0cco | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d0g | 18 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | VANNOS ✨ | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Femboy Fever | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Elo Goblin | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | ZeroRecoil | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d0g | 329 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | VANNOS ✨ | 311 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | Femboy Fever | 259 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | Elo Goblin | 182 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | ZeroRecoil | 98 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VANNOS ✨ | +0.97 | 63 | 52 |
| #2 | R0cco | +0.85 | 63 | 61 |
| #3 | Peach | +0.66 | 87 | 70 |
| #4 | ZeroRecoil | +0.52 | 75 | 62 |
| #5 | RGB | +0.52 | 69 | 63 |





