








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 809 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 279 matches | ||
| Faceit | 236 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5832 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,193 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3973 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3851 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1893 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2476 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,691,407 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2286 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZeroRecoil | 65% | 150 |
| #2 | Yousif from the Area | 61% | 46 |
| #3 | Elo Goblin | 52% | 62 |
| #4 | RGB | 51% | 172 |
| #5 | Peach | 51% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | d0g | 49% | 144 |
| #9 | polygonshifter | 48% | 33 |
| #10 | Reenie. | 47% | 85 |
| #11 | R0cco | 45% | 40 |
| #12 | Femboy Fever | 42% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d0g | 29 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | Femboy Fever | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | ZeroRecoil | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Grisen | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | RGB | 5 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Femboy Fever | 623 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #2 | d0g | 426 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #3 | Reenie. | 321 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | Peach | 263 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | Grisen | 231 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | polygonshifter | +2.48 | 70 | 68 |
| #2 | ZeroRecoil | +1.50 | 73 | 59 |
| #3 | Peach | +1.23 | 86 | 73 |
| #4 | VANNOS ✨ | +0.81 | 61 | 54 |
| #5 | d0g | +0.22 | 84 | 51 |





