








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1110 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 214 matches | ||
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 97 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




105 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9020 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,513 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6406 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4320 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 6329 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4458 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,702,002 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1514 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaala | 69% | 42 |
| #2 | Mitzu | 62% | 42 |
| #3 | doki- | 61% | 157 |
| #4 | suomivihu paska vihu | 60% | 47 |
| #5 | besu | 57% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | Patrick Star | 50% | 34 |
| #16 | vikkelä patu | 49% | 162 |
| #17 | Lurkk14WP | 47% | 53 |
| #18 | HUBERT | 44% | 90 |
| #19 | Hessu | 44% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hessu | 67 | 0.0244 |
| #2 | vikkelä patu | 55 | 0.0171 |
| #3 | jaLmaRi | 46 | 0.0122 |
| #4 | besu | 20 | 0.0199 |
| #5 | J.J.K.P | 16 | 0.0097 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vikkelä patu | 588 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #2 | jaLmaRi | 586 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #3 | Ras | 537 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #4 | J.J.K.P | 429 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #5 | Hessu | 240 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nuugi | +5.67 | 73 | 69 |
| #2 | kaala | +1.63 | 67 | 62 |
| #3 | doki- | +1.61 | 84 | 27 |
| #4 | Mitzu | +1.05 | 76 | 44 |
| #5 | besu | +0.76 | 68 | 45 |





