








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 118 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Wingman | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1669 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,053 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1252 | 31% |
| Smokes | 946 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 832 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1023 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $603,783 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flash | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | Larry5k | 59% | 187 |
| #3 | bloom | 58% | 77 |
| #4 | Droid ツ | 46% | 35 |
| #5 | Lums | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flash | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | Larry5k | 59% | 187 |
| #3 | bloom | 58% | 77 |
| #4 | Droid ツ | 46% | 35 |
| #5 | Lums | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Larry5k | 24 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | bloom | 9 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Droid ツ | 4 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Flash | 4 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Larry5k | 1023 | 0.29 | 30 min |
| #2 | bloom | 223 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | Flash | 126 | 0.29 | 5 min |
| #4 | Droid ツ | 60 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Lums | 28 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flash | +4.32 | 74 | 76 |
| #2 | Larry5k | +3.13 | 80 | 71 |
| #3 | Droid ツ | -0.06 | 78 | 57 |
| #4 | bloom | -0.07 | 76 | 62 |
| #5 | DestructoDog | -0.48 | 75 | 60 |





