








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 981 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 410 matches | ||
| Wingman | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7443 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,884 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5340 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3214 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2573 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4757 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,260,561 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1421 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Larry5k | 60% | 179 |
| #2 | DestructoDog | 58% | 77 |
| #3 | Droid ツ | 43% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Larry5k | 60% | 179 |
| #2 | DestructoDog | 58% | 77 |
| #3 | Droid ツ | 43% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Larry5k | 18 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | DestructoDog | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Droid ツ | 5 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Larry5k | 967 | 0.28 | 27 min |
| #2 | DestructoDog | 212 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | Droid ツ | 75 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Larry5k | +3.87 | 82 | 69 |
| #2 | bloom | +1.26 | 81 | 62 |
| #3 | Droid ツ | +0.18 | 81 | 52 |
| #4 | DestructoDog | +0.07 | 74 | 61 |





