








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1071 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 209 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4794 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,569 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3339 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3755 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2565 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2910 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,621,745 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 971 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beast | 66% | 38 |
| #2 | Sub (The Solution) | 59% | 46 |
| #3 | Mr. Stabby | 58% | 33 |
| #4 | Painkiller | 56% | 41 |
| #5 | [DarkMan]Nemesis™ | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | magiC | 214 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | thanny | 205 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Mr. Stabby | 104 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Stitch | 90 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | [DarkMan]Nemesis™ | 76 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thanny | +3.79 | 84 | 51 |
| #2 | CUBErt | +2.02 | 86 | 61 |
| #3 | Stitch | +1.10 | 76 | 47 |
| #4 | Mr. Stabby | -0.40 | 51 | 67 |
| #5 | Sub (The Solution) | -0.56 | 69 | 48 |





