








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 322 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 221 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2274 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,478 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2636 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2619 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1980 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2243 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $885,259 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Orsen | 80% | 15 |
| #2 | Gunzo | 75% | 16 |
| #3 | Knifeka | 71% | 14 |
| #4 | THEIcemaskin | 71% | 28 |
| #5 | Robbi | 69% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | :| | 50% | 14 |
| #14 | Baddi | 50% | 48 |
| #15 | e1nfalt | 48% | 40 |
| #16 | Pylsan never forget | 46% | 13 |
| #17 | Siu | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DAF ツ | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Robbi | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Baddi | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | rufus | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Orsen | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DAF ツ | 412 | 0.26 | 11 min |
| #2 | Baddi | 198 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | e1nfalt | 113 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Robbi | 112 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | rufus | 104 | 0.31 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :| | +2.71 | 77 | 64 |
| #2 | Pylsan never forget | +2.51 | 75 | 61 |
| #3 | Gunzo | +2.47 | 80 | 63 |
| #4 | rufus | +2.43 | 83 | 71 |
| #5 | e1nfalt | +2.16 | 80 | 55 |





