








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 340 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4105 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,898 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3275 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3180 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2780 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2663 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $971,841 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 348 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | :| | 55% | 53 |
| #7 | WhySoSerious? | 53% | 88 |
| #8 | ✯NammiPokinn✯ | 53% | 147 |
| #9 | Thelostluck | 48% | 40 |
| #10 | e1zarinn | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✯NammiPokinn✯ | 436 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | DAF ツ | 370 | 0.28 | 11 min |
| #3 | WhySoSerious? | 160 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Thelostluck | 124 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Orrz | 113 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | e1nfalt | +3.09 | 82 | 61 |
| #2 | -VoLkoFF | +1.48 | 85 | 74 |
| #3 | :| | +1.05 | 76 | 56 |
| #4 | Baddi | +0.34 | 75 | 83 |
| #5 | Orrz | +0.18 | 69 | 72 |





