








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 587 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 249 matches | ||
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Renown | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4325 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,773 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3691 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2267 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3065 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1750 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,445,269 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 398 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THEIcemaskin | 76% | 25 |
| #2 | Sharp | 74% | 23 |
| #3 | Volgur | 62% | 97 |
| #4 | aNdrehh | 61% | 23 |
| #5 | WESTAR | 60% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bongwater Brian | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Volgur | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Dómsdagur | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | THEIcemaskin | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Sharp | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bongwater Brian | +1.77 | 88 | 63 |
| #2 | ReaN | +1.76 | 68 | 67 |
| #3 | WESTAR | +1.63 | 79 | 79 |
| #4 | Thelostluck | +1.34 | 67 | 66 |
| #5 | ♥ JWalker ♥ | +1.13 | 73 | 61 |





