








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 506 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 162 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3169 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,316 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1987 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1733 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1517 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2079 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $801,078 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reek | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | speedy | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | nagasaki | 56% | 52 |
| #4 | mr.gritz | 53% | 109 |
| #5 | Skii | 53% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | nagasaki | 56% | 52 |
| #4 | mr.gritz | 53% | 109 |
| #5 | Skii | 53% | 66 |
| #6 | 2 in the pink 1 in the stink | 50% | 14 |
| #7 | Donny Luxemborg | 50% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mr.gritz | 22 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | Skii | 11 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | nagasaki | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Donny Luxemborg | 5 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | speedy | 5 | 0.0108 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mr.gritz | 533 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #2 | Skii | 244 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | nagasaki | 67 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | speedy | 55 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | 2 in the pink 1 in the stink | 51 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mr.gritz | +1.62 | 71 | 64 |
| #2 | speedy | +1.44 | 74 | 51 |
| #3 | 金木研 | +1.22 | 65 | 51 |
| #4 | Skii | +1.10 | 68 | 69 |
| #5 | nagasaki | +0.83 | 86 | 46 |





