








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 655 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2459 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,585 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2120 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2788 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1450 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2227 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,220,345 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 857 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 金木研 | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | 2 in the pink 1 in the stink | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | mr.gritz | 45% | 242 |
| #4 | nagasaki | 45% | 56 |
| #5 | Donny Luxemborg | 38% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | nagasaki | 45% | 56 |
| #5 | Donny Luxemborg | 38% | 94 |
| #6 | Skii | 36% | 44 |
| #7 | potluckpowers | 35% | 23 |
| #8 | the grape ape | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mr.gritz | 58 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | Donny Luxemborg | 16 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | nagasaki | 10 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | Skii | 5 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | potluckpowers | 3 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mr.gritz | 1350 | 0.28 | 31 min |
| #2 | Skii | 178 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #3 | Donny Luxemborg | 118 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | nagasaki | 114 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | 金木研 | 81 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mr.gritz | +2.21 | 67 | 67 |
| #2 | nagasaki | +2.04 | 82 | 47 |
| #3 | Skii | +1.43 | 69 | 72 |
| #4 | potluckpowers | +1.27 | 59 | 49 |
| #5 | 金木研 | +0.72 | 54 | 53 |





