








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 711 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 152 matches | ||
| Premier | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4790 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,752 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3944 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3295 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3364 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3149 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,098,726 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1477 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | mr.gritz | 42% | 217 |
| #7 | Donny Luxemborg | 41% | 82 |
| #8 | 2 in the pink 1 in the stink | 41% | 22 |
| #9 | reek | 36% | 44 |
| #10 | potluckpowers | 33% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mr.gritz | 40 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | nagasaki | 13 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | Donny Luxemborg | 13 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | potluckpowers | 6 | 0.0143 |
| #5 | 金木研 | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mr.gritz | 1172 | 0.26 | 28 min |
| #2 | 金木研 | 221 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | ➤ ⊹ conk | 140 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | nagasaki | 128 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Donny Luxemborg | 94 | 0.06 | 2 min |





