








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 145 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




74 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1235 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,054 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1819 | 45% |
| Smokes | 963 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 687 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 585 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,094,046 of utility $264 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 233 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Filipek12 | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | Jeg knuller mammaene dine | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | 王 Kakarøttø™ 山 | 46% | 50 |
| #4 | Domino nigdy nie zgino | 43% | 23 |
| #5 | FPS™ | 39% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Domino nigdy nie zgino | +4.89 | 82 | 64 |
| #2 | Fuck You | +3.78 | 76 | 52 |
| #3 | Filipek12 | +3.65 | 52 | 70 |
| #4 | Jeg knuller mammaene dine | +3.12 | 82 | 58 |
| #5 | FPS™ | +2.54 | 68 | 53 |





