








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 922 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 217 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2085 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,312 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2991 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1228 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 2364 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2729 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $844,922 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1378 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Makowiec | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | Bilu | 64% | 45 |
| #3 | Filipek12 | 57% | 21 |
| #4 | Jeg knuller mammaene dine | 52% | 85 |
| #5 | 王 Kakarøttø™ 山 | 47% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 王 Kakarøttø™ 山 | 558 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #2 | Fuck You | 385 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | Bilu | 270 | 0.30 | 6 min |
| #4 | IDINAHUJᴶᴸᴹ | 159 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | Jeg knuller mammaene dine | 151 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Filipek12 | +3.80 | 54 | 64 |
| #2 | Bilu | +3.10 | 94 | 63 |
| #3 | Domino nigdy nie zgino | +3.09 | 76 | 64 |
| #4 | Fuck You | +2.22 | 71 | 50 |
| #5 | FPS™ | +1.44 | 63 | 51 |





