








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1246 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,559 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 982 | 28% |
| Smokes | 863 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 774 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 940 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $268,094 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Itua | 53% | 19 |
| #2 | Br0therr | 51% | 61 |
| #3 | SteN | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | Fl1kkcs | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | ABUBAKIR NURBAYEV | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | SteN | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | Fl1kkcs | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | ABUBAKIR NURBAYEV | 35% | 17 |
| #6 | _BaasHaas_ | 33% | 6 |
| #7 | Nova | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Br0therr | 16 | 0.0121 |
| #2 | Nova | 4 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | ABUBAKIR NURBAYEV | 3 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | Fl1kkcs | 2 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Br0therr | 203 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | Itua | 97 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #3 | ABUBAKIR NURBAYEV | 70 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | Nova | 50 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | SteN | 28 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nova | +2.26 | 85 | 63 |
| #2 | Br0therr | +1.27 | 91 | 64 |
| #3 | _BaasHaas_ | +0.96 | 77 | 69 |
| #4 | 1TapHsNohecks | +0.50 | 78 | 58 |
| #5 | Itua | -0.31 | 75 | 80 |





