








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
602 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,845 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 212 | 11% |
| Smokes | 813 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 413 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 407 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $295,304 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Enok Energinguaq | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | The_Undulator | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | S4ndeR ♿ | 65% | 31 |
| #4 | JueLLL | 63% | 49 |
| #5 | Thiberg | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JueLLL | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | downatello | 3 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | S4ndeR ♿ | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JueLLL | 114 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | R3FLEX | 99 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | S4ndeR ♿ | 62 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | FIREFOX | 50 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | downatello | 42 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Esse | +3.60 | 82 | 67 |
| #2 | S4ndeR ♿ | +3.40 | 90 | 70 |
| #3 | Baba HiddeN | +3.09 | 66 | 81 |
| #4 | Thiberg | +2.09 | 55 | 62 |
| #5 | FIREFOX | +1.20 | 76 | 71 |





