








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 349 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 511 matches | ||
| Wingman | 58 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4338 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,778 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5023 | 34% |
| Smokes | 5067 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2785 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1903 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,461,355 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bober | 61% | 110 |
| #2 | Biffen | 48% | 181 |
| #3 | nUT | 46% | 114 |
| #4 | BMW E91 | 44% | 39 |
| #5 | taistelujaska | 38% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | nUT | 46% | 114 |
| #4 | BMW E91 | 44% | 39 |
| #5 | taistelujaska | 38% | 42 |
| #6 | Domsu | 38% | 45 |
| #7 | Toyota Yaris | 38% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Biffen | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Bober | 9 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | nUT | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Toyota Yaris | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | taistelujaska | 3 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Biffen | 1161 | 0.30 | 32 min |
| #2 | Toyota Yaris | 507 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #3 | Bober | 363 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #4 | Domsu | 172 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | nUT | 140 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bober | +2.58 | 67 | 64 |
| #2 | BMW E91 | +1.61 | 61 | 58 |
| #3 | Toyota Yaris | +0.75 | 61 | 64 |
| #4 | nUT | +0.61 | 49 | 58 |
| #5 | Domsu | +0.12 | 48 | 68 |





