








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 965 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 471 matches | ||
| Wingman | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5289 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,527 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7555 | 37% |
| Smokes | 5545 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5010 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2417 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,254,406 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | taistelujaska | 49% | 166 |
| #4 | nUT | 44% | 118 |
| #5 | Jecce | 43% | 44 |
| #6 | Biffen | 41% | 75 |
| #7 | Gilbört | 38% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | taistelujaska | 14 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | BMW E91 | 7 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | Gilbört | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | nUT | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Biffen | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Biffen | 505 | 0.31 | 14 min |
| #2 | Gilbört | 298 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | taistelujaska | 275 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | nUT | 133 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | BMW E91 | 101 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BMW E91 | +3.05 | 54 | 50 |
| #2 | taistelujaska | +1.41 | 65 | 47 |
| #3 | Toyota Yaris | +0.97 | 61 | 63 |
| #4 | Biffen | -0.07 | 52 | 71 |
| #5 | nUT | -0.34 | 46 | 55 |





