








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 266 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2083 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,494 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1835 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1663 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1180 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1816 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $479,378 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 267 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zyk0 | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | iluu | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | -Lasty | 55% | 105 |
| #4 | Fih! | 54% | 139 |
| #5 | Cren | 52% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Whos Magic | 45% | 11 |
| #8 | Noname | 45% | 11 |
| #9 | lindsah | 44% | 9 |
| #10 | euN kyunG | 36% | 11 |
| #11 | Toasty | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fih! | 10 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Jae-Min Ling Pong | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | -Lasty | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Cren | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | zyk0 | 2 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fih! | 853 | 0.30 | 25 min |
| #2 | Cren | 437 | 0.33 | 13 min |
| #3 | -Lasty | 421 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #4 | Jae-Min Ling Pong | 340 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #5 | iluu | 88 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fih! | +1.52 | 81 | 70 |
| #2 | Mendicant Bias | +1.33 | 82 | 63 |
| #3 | Jae-Min Ling Pong | +0.94 | 81 | 69 |
| #4 | Whos Magic | +0.65 | 79 | 51 |
| #5 | euN kyunG | +0.53 | 82 | 50 |





