








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 137 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1597 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,776 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1313 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1186 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 954 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1323 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $424,439 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Taco | 57% | 21 |
| #7 | bean royale | 57% | 28 |
| #8 | Skycap | 57% | 46 |
| #9 | Yoruko | 55% | 20 |
| #10 | atoomic | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taco | 4 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | Yoruko | 3 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | Agera | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | bean royale | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Skycap | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Agera | 207 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | Skycap | 103 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Taco | 77 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Malakai | 76 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Lasty | 63 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Agera | +2.69 | 85 | 64 |
| #2 | iLunate | +1.94 | 81 | 62 |
| #3 | Malakai | +1.57 | 79 | 63 |
| #4 | Skycap | +1.31 | 63 | 58 |
| #5 | bean royale | +1.01 | 55 | 70 |





