








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 790 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 387 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




72 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3576 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,151 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4312 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2808 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 5673 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 4358 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,359,264 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1556 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wolt driver (ahmed bashir) | 51% | 211 |
| #2 | hölö | 50% | 355 |
| #3 | Irmeli Mammma (no headphones) | 50% | 380 |
| #4 | WoWno | 49% | 283 |
| #5 | LA1NE | 49% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WoWno | 40 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Irmeli Mammma (no headphones) | 35 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | hölö | 28 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Kadonnut Mirri | 23 | 0.0079 |
| #5 | wolt driver (ahmed bashir) | 15 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hölö | 1056 | 0.14 | 28 min |
| #2 | WoWno | 876 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #3 | Irmeli Mammma (no headphones) | 485 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #4 | Kadonnut Mirri | 421 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #5 | wolt driver (ahmed bashir) | 308 | 0.07 | 6 min |





