








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 762 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2849 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,624 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1933 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1201 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1774 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1716 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $727,205 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 218 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LA1NE | 55% | 22 |
| #2 | Kadonnut Mirri | 51% | 65 |
| #3 | セっポ | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | Moe Lester | 48% | 123 |
| #5 | hölö | 44% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | hölö | 44% | 176 |
| #6 | wolt driver (ahmed bashir) | 43% | 127 |
| #7 | WoWno | 43% | 202 |
| #8 | Irmeli Mammma (no headphones) | 41% | 142 |
| #9 | Lehtis | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WoWno | 19 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Moe Lester | 19 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | Irmeli Mammma (no headphones) | 14 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | wolt driver (ahmed bashir) | 12 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | hölö | 10 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WoWno | 592 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #2 | hölö | 488 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #3 | Moe Lester | 369 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #4 | Kadonnut Mirri | 208 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | wolt driver (ahmed bashir) | 189 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PLÄTY | +2.24 | 91 | 58 |
| #2 | セっポ | +2.07 | 79 | 46 |
| #3 | WoWno | +0.73 | 68 | 67 |
| #4 | LA1NE | +0.26 | 62 | 55 |
| #5 | Moe Lester | -0.66 | 66 | 63 |





