








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 720 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 401 matches | ||
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4094 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,987 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6445 | 26% |
| Smokes | 8699 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 5249 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4594 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,550,437 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2062 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | セっポ | 54% | 84 |
| #2 | LA1NE | 53% | 97 |
| #3 | Moe Lester | 50% | 355 |
| #4 | wolt driver (ahmed bashir) | 48% | 254 |
| #5 | Irmeli Mammma (no headphones) | 47% | 387 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | wolt driver (ahmed bashir) | 48% | 254 |
| #5 | Irmeli Mammma (no headphones) | 47% | 387 |
| #6 | WoWno | 46% | 370 |
| #7 | Kadonnut Mirri | 45% | 158 |
| #8 | PLÄTY | 44% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moe Lester | 52 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | Irmeli Mammma (no headphones) | 39 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | WoWno | 35 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Kadonnut Mirri | 24 | 0.0071 |
| #5 | wolt driver (ahmed bashir) | 14 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moe Lester | 1105 | 0.15 | 30 min |
| #2 | WoWno | 1049 | 0.13 | 27 min |
| #3 | Irmeli Mammma (no headphones) | 465 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #4 | Kadonnut Mirri | 456 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #5 | PLÄTY | 401 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PLÄTY | +2.83 | 92 | 58 |
| #2 | セっポ | +1.50 | 76 | 58 |
| #3 | LA1NE | +1.43 | 67 | 52 |
| #4 | WoWno | +1.42 | 69 | 67 |
| #5 | Moe Lester | +0.02 | 66 | 61 |





