








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 930 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 332 matches | ||
| Faceit | 88 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5234 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,269 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4675 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6751 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 5019 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3824 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,582,040 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1589 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lehtis | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | LA1NE | 52% | 86 |
| #3 | Moe Lester | 49% | 283 |
| #4 | Kadonnut Mirri | 48% | 155 |
| #5 | セっポ | 47% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | セっポ | 47% | 73 |
| #6 | hölö | 46% | 370 |
| #7 | Irmeli Mammma (no headphones) | 45% | 323 |
| #8 | wolt driver (ahmed bashir) | 44% | 204 |
| #9 | PLÄTY | 43% | 202 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moe Lester | 39 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Irmeli Mammma (no headphones) | 32 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | hölö | 21 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Kadonnut Mirri | 16 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | セっポ | 16 | 0.0104 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hölö | 1022 | 0.13 | 27 min |
| #2 | Moe Lester | 873 | 0.14 | 23 min |
| #3 | Kadonnut Mirri | 489 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #4 | PLÄTY | 454 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #5 | Irmeli Mammma (no headphones) | 375 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PLÄTY | +2.32 | 91 | 59 |
| #2 | WoWno | +1.41 | 69 | 67 |
| #3 | LA1NE | +1.17 | 66 | 54 |
| #4 | セっポ | +0.85 | 74 | 55 |
| #5 | Moe Lester | -0.31 | 66 | 62 |





