








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 442 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 415 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4561 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,259 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2839 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3324 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4215 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3881 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,091,036 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 959 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ω [GE] blankthename | 57% | 28 |
| #2 | Dankosaurus Flex | 49% | 78 |
| #3 | CR4T3Z | 48% | 286 |
| #4 | PGMakesIt | 44% | 34 |
| #5 | swiggles | 42% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Dankosaurus Flex | 49% | 78 |
| #3 | CR4T3Z | 48% | 286 |
| #4 | PGMakesIt | 44% | 34 |
| #5 | swiggles | 42% | 144 |
| #6 | Taaaako | 38% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CR4T3Z | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | Taaaako | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | PGMakesIt | 4 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | swiggles | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Ω [GE] blankthename | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CR4T3Z | 359 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #2 | Taaaako | 198 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ω [GE] blankthename | 152 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | PGMakesIt | 79 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | swiggles | 73 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CR4T3Z | +1.19 | 80 | 54 |
| #2 | Anii | +0.89 | 70 | 56 |
| #3 | Ω [GE] blankthename | +0.09 | 75 | 79 |
| #4 | Dankosaurus Flex | -0.86 | 69 | 19 |
| #5 | PGMakesIt | -1.01 | 58 | 54 |





