








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 154 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 245 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4090 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,397 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2129 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3031 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2554 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2683 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,095,874 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 297 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaross | 66% | 29 |
| #2 | grem da loooong way | 53% | 38 |
| #3 | Poon | 50% | 44 |
| #4 | Mako Wave | 50% | 48 |
| #5 | stevdxyzhai | 49% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anii | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | grem da loooong way | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Poon | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | CR4T3Z | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | stevdxyzhai | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anii | 164 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | kaross | 134 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #3 | CR4T3Z | 118 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | grem da loooong way | 77 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Poon | 65 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poon | +1.28 | 45 | 67 |
| #2 | CR4T3Z | +1.15 | 81 | 59 |
| #3 | Anii | +1.05 | 70 | 54 |
| #4 | Taaaako | +0.18 | 71 | 55 |
| #5 | kaross | +0.08 | 54 | 72 |





