








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 166 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1553 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,359 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1662 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1631 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2189 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 877 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $337,516 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 13rahm | 53% | 30 |
| #2 | kwok | 52% | 107 |
| #3 | metard | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | kwei | 49% | 193 |
| #5 | Sarf | 49% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | kwok | 52% | 107 |
| #3 | metard | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | kwei | 49% | 193 |
| #5 | Sarf | 49% | 125 |
| #6 | lightning2506 | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kwei | 35 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | Sarf | 22 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | kwok | 14 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | lightning2506 | 6 | 0.0105 |
| #5 | metard | 4 | 0.0137 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kwok | 574 | 0.27 | 14 min |
| #2 | kwei | 356 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | Sarf | 182 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | 13rahm | 158 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #5 | lightning2506 | 101 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kwok | +4.40 | 71 | 64 |
| #2 | metard | +2.47 | 73 | 38 |
| #3 | Sarf | +1.28 | 68 | 51 |
| #4 | 13rahm | +1.22 | 64 | 60 |
| #5 | kwei | -0.33 | 69 | 37 |





