








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2186 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,599 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3626 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1616 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1549 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1808 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $166,858 of utility $38 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 188 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lightning2506 | 63% | 46 |
| #2 | metard | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | kwei | 56% | 133 |
| #4 | Sarf | 53% | 186 |
| #5 | DragonmasterABC1 | 52% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | metard | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | kwei | 56% | 133 |
| #4 | Sarf | 53% | 186 |
| #5 | DragonmasterABC1 | 52% | 107 |
| #6 | 13rahm | 50% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sarf | 29 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | kwei | 25 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | DragonmasterABC1 | 18 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | lightning2506 | 13 | 0.0139 |
| #5 | metard | 12 | 0.0202 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kwei | 295 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | Sarf | 267 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | DragonmasterABC1 | 230 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | 13rahm | 202 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #5 | lightning2506 | 165 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kwok | +3.33 | 67 | 64 |
| #2 | metard | +1.91 | 72 | 42 |
| #3 | Sarf | +0.72 | 64 | 52 |
| #4 | 13rahm | -0.08 | 60 | 64 |
| #5 | kwei | -1.38 | 67 | 38 |





