








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
595 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,026 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 621 | 31% |
| Smokes | 519 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 420 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 466 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $186,574 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kwok | 63% | 46 |
| #2 | kwei | 55% | 42 |
| #3 | Sarf | 51% | 70 |
| #4 | metard | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | DragonmasterABC1 | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kwok | 63% | 46 |
| #2 | kwei | 55% | 42 |
| #3 | Sarf | 51% | 70 |
| #4 | metard | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | DragonmasterABC1 | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kwok | 7 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Sarf | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | kwei | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | metard | 4 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | DragonmasterABC1 | 3 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kwok | 239 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #2 | Sarf | 113 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | kwei | 67 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | DragonmasterABC1 | 66 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | metard | 53 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kwok | +5.01 | 71 | 63 |
| #2 | metard | +2.64 | 81 | 49 |
| #3 | Sarf | +2.58 | 73 | 57 |
| #4 | lightning2506 | -1.68 | 57 | 62 |
| #5 | kwei | -2.36 | 69 | 33 |





