








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 180 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 164 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2429 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,563 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1171 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2065 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1471 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1856 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $537,939 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 13rahm | 54% | 46 |
| #2 | metard | 54% | 59 |
| #3 | kwok | 53% | 186 |
| #4 | kwei | 52% | 150 |
| #5 | lightning2506 | 51% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | metard | 54% | 59 |
| #3 | kwok | 53% | 186 |
| #4 | kwei | 52% | 150 |
| #5 | lightning2506 | 51% | 70 |
| #6 | DragonmasterABC1 | 49% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kwok | 24 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | kwei | 22 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | DragonmasterABC1 | 21 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | lightning2506 | 15 | 0.0103 |
| #5 | metard | 13 | 0.0110 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kwok | 1084 | 0.29 | 27 min |
| #2 | kwei | 298 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | DragonmasterABC1 | 265 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | lightning2506 | 252 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #5 | 13rahm | 226 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kwok | +3.23 | 67 | 64 |
| #2 | metard | +1.53 | 73 | 49 |
| #3 | Sarf | +1.02 | 67 | 52 |
| #4 | 13rahm | +0.40 | 59 | 64 |
| #5 | kwei | -1.45 | 68 | 37 |





