








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 309 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 207 matches | ||
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2530 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,727 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2979 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2517 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1960 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2271 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $881,021 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 113 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr darqnus | 16 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | philly | 13 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | eazy | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | wake up the sleepy samurai | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | schizomoid | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eazy | 855 | 0.22 | 20 min |
| #2 | philly | 634 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #3 | dr darqnus | 474 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | schizomoid | 417 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #5 | wake up the sleepy samurai | 136 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schizomoid | +3.21 | 71 | 66 |
| #2 | philly | +0.80 | 81 | 64 |
| #3 | eazy | +0.79 | 73 | 59 |
| #4 | wake up the sleepy samurai | +0.07 | 73 | 62 |
| #5 | dr darqnus | -0.64 | 55 | 45 |





