








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 457 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 200 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2968 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,891 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2337 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1992 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1537 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2025 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $846,745 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eazy | 52% | 180 |
| #2 | philly | 46% | 67 |
| #3 | dr darqnus | 41% | 46 |
| #4 | Cardinal | 30% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eazy | 52% | 180 |
| #2 | philly | 46% | 67 |
| #3 | dr darqnus | 41% | 46 |
| #4 | Cardinal | 30% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | philly | 16 | 0.0117 |
| #2 | eazy | 14 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | dr darqnus | 10 | 0.0109 |
| #4 | Cardinal | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eazy | 822 | 0.22 | 20 min |
| #2 | philly | 231 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | dr darqnus | 185 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | Cardinal | 96 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wake up the sleepy samurai | +1.82 | 75 | 60 |
| #2 | philly | +0.17 | 82 | 63 |
| #3 | eazy | -0.30 | 73 | 54 |
| #4 | dr darqnus | -1.12 | 56 | 43 |
| #5 | Cardinal | -1.89 | 43 | 55 |





