








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 311 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1246 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,117 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 403 | 36% |
| Smokes | 112 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 263 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 339 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $185,009 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 623 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sir this is a wendys | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | P7kle123 | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | ckkeef69 | 69% | 16 |
| #4 | wgroovy | 57% | 61 |
| #5 | Sackil O'Neal | 50% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Sackil O'Neal | 50% | 60 |
| #6 | zeph | 49% | 70 |
| #7 | Burger Enjoyer | 32% | 25 |
| #8 | The forgotten | 13% | 8 |
| #9 | Sassy | 0% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sackil O'Neal | 21 | 0.0173 |
| #2 | zeph | 18 | 0.0129 |
| #3 | Burger Enjoyer | 7 | 0.0161 |
| #4 | The forgotten | 4 | 0.0276 |
| #5 | wgroovy | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeph | 177 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | wgroovy | 156 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Sackil O'Neal | 110 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | The forgotten | 38 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #5 | Burger Enjoyer | 31 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wgroovy | +2.74 | 77 | 64 |
| #2 | zeph | +2.72 | 83 | 53 |
| #3 | sir this is a wendys | +1.40 | 58 | 35 |
| #4 | SlimmR3eaper\Kick | +0.22 | 62 | 19 |
| #5 | ckkeef69 | -0.27 | 45 | 61 |





