








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 759 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 152 matches | ||
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




97 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3893 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,616 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2743 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1170 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 2956 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2747 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,210,629 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 903 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stratos | 77% | 26 |
| #2 | Peppa | 54% | 35 |
| #3 | sir this is a wendys | 52% | 112 |
| #4 | SlimmR3eaper\Kick | 50% | 60 |
| #5 | Dogen | 48% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | macaroniez | 45% | 94 |
| #10 | boid | 43% | 65 |
| #11 | zeph | 40% | 87 |
| #12 | Burger Enjoyer | 40% | 35 |
| #13 | torjebosen | 26% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boid | 24 | 0.0178 |
| #2 | SlimmR3eaper\Kick | 18 | 0.0149 |
| #3 | wgroovy | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Peppa | 9 | 0.0140 |
| #5 | zeph | 8 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wgroovy | 572 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #2 | zeph | 295 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | boid | 287 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #4 | sir this is a wendys | 259 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | macaroniez | 164 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stratos | +5.65 | 82 | 71 |
| #2 | wgroovy | +3.00 | 80 | 63 |
| #3 | boid | +2.62 | 75 | 56 |
| #4 | Dogen | +2.15 | 76 | 50 |
| #5 | Peppa | +1.87 | 84 | 62 |





