








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
559 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,529 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 688 | 27% |
| Smokes | 613 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 531 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 697 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $84,295 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hibbe | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Blaim | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | 🆃🅷🅴 🅺🅸🅽🅶 BOB3000 | 75% | 8 |
| #4 | KrippeNATOR | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | Snute | 60% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Warlix | 44% | 18 |
| #10 | datsleoH | 44% | 32 |
| #11 | neqze | 29% | 7 |
| #12 | Cooking Swag | 27% | 11 |
| #13 | sphexxy | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | datsleoH | 5 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Warlix | 128 | 0.35 | 3 min |
| #2 | BRB | 84 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | datsleoH | 65 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mayhem | 63 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #5 | Blaim | 42 | 0.39 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blaim | +3.10 | 77 | 75 |
| #2 | KrippeNATOR | +2.87 | 97 | 46 |
| #3 | hibbe | +2.72 | 88 | 19 |
| #4 | datsleoH | +1.68 | 56 | 61 |
| #5 | Mayhem | +0.66 | 63 | 66 |





