








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 762 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 284 matches | ||
| Premier | 208 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3780 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,557 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3803 | 15% |
| Smokes | 5864 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 8604 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 6286 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,503,369 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 464 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Verttii | 58% | 244 |
| #2 | Lizwiz69 | 56% | 62 |
| #3 | OuJee | 54% | 452 |
| #4 | paavo1993 | 53% | 230 |
| #5 | TheduaD | 53% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Verttii | 12 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | OuJee | 8 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | kuntteri | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Vesbaal | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | TheduaD | 4 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OuJee | 2537 | 0.26 | 68 min |
| #2 | Verttii | 1146 | 0.21 | 32 min |
| #3 | kuntteri | 1033 | 0.13 | 28 min |
| #4 | Vesbaal | 423 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #5 | paavo1993 | 299 | 0.06 | 6 min |





