








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 891 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 354 matches | ||
| Premier | 353 matches | ||
| Wingman | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6938 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 46,338 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13986 | 30% |
| Smokes | 13507 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 9482 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 9363 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,330,541 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | kuntteri | 51% | 512 |
| #5 | paavo1993 | 51% | 508 |
| #6 | Vesbaal | 51% | 255 |
| #7 | bug | 51% | 95 |
| #8 | Lizwiz69 | 49% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Verttii | 23 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | kuntteri | 11 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | TaisteluJaska | 9 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | paavo1993 | 6 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Vesbaal | 5 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Verttii | 1582 | 0.21 | 44 min |
| #2 | kuntteri | 1369 | 0.12 | 38 min |
| #3 | paavo1993 | 700 | 0.07 | 15 min |
| #4 | TaisteluJaska | 499 | 0.05 | 13 min |
| #5 | Vesbaal | 495 | 0.09 | 14 min |





