








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
369 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,005 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 306 | 30% |
| Smokes | 213 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 287 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 199 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $119,311 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ad0nis der Bäinis Sr. | 27 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #2 | L-Capowned Sr. | 17 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #3 | Cast0r Sr. | 9 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | Jerkstar Sr. | 6 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #5 | Spray Charles Sr. | 5 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donkey Sr. | +10.18 | 69 | 38 |
| #2 | Jerkstar Sr. | +5.12 | 65 | 64 |
| #3 | Schmandfaktor Sr. | +5.09 | 67 | 65 |
| #4 | Spray Charles Sr. | +4.22 | 79 | 66 |
| #5 | L-Capowned Sr. | +3.66 | 56 | 73 |





