








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 133 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2393 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,394 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 719 | 21% |
| Smokes | 919 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 823 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 933 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $481,135 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 285 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1chinese gilbert | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | keyツ | 60% | 30 |
| #3 | vaguerrx | 58% | 102 |
| #4 | frycat | 54% | 161 |
| #5 | 𝓰𝓸𝓸𝓫𝓮𝓻 | 50% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frycat | 44 | 0.0152 |
| #2 | 𝓰𝓸𝓸𝓫𝓮𝓻 | 32 | 0.0170 |
| #3 | keyツ | 13 | 0.0228 |
| #4 | Cereal Enjoyer | 8 | 0.0083 |
| #5 | vaguerrx | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓰𝓸𝓸𝓫𝓮𝓻 | 149 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | vaguerrx | 140 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | frycat | 45 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | keyツ | 34 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | 1chinese gilbert | 24 | 0.05 | 0 min |





