








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 445 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 206 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 55 matches | ||
| Wingman | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




210 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8983 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,614 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 906 | 7% |
| Smokes | 5091 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 3389 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3228 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,545,526 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1226 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | keyツ | 59% | 61 |
| #2 | vaguerrx | 59% | 295 |
| #3 | Yui | 54% | 161 |
| #4 | 𝓰𝓸𝓸𝓫𝓮𝓻 | 53% | 203 |
| #5 | 1chinese gilbert | 49% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | 1chinese gilbert | 49% | 109 |
| #6 | Cereal Enjoyer | 48% | 190 |
| #7 | jico | 46% | 54 |
| #8 | traverthegoat | 42% | 88 |
| #9 | lana | 33% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓰𝓸𝓸𝓫𝓮𝓻 | 70 | 0.0186 |
| #2 | lana | 34 | 0.0246 |
| #3 | jico | 27 | 0.0266 |
| #4 | Yui | 23 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | traverthegoat | 23 | 0.0142 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vaguerrx | 362 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | 𝓰𝓸𝓸𝓫𝓮𝓻 | 193 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | jico | 189 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | Yui | 127 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | lana | 115 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | traverthegoat | +3.13 | 68 | 29 |
| #2 | jico | +2.19 | 41 | 30 |
| #3 | frycat | +2.02 | 71 | 23 |
| #4 | keyツ | +1.99 | 59 | 31 |
| #5 | vaguerrx | +1.38 | 66 | 43 |





