








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 113 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 333 matches | ||
| Faceit | 91 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7210 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,058 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3015 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4005 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4579 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3459 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,660,047 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 540 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jannik | 59% | 74 |
| #2 | Nostor#SchlechtesterSpieler | 58% | 48 |
| #3 | Cpt.Vollkornn | 57% | 307 |
| #4 | Freq. | 57% | 81 |
| #5 | chavez. | 55% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cpt.Vollkornn | 18 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Freq. | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Vance | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | X-Black ♛Prince of Nigeria♛ | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Jannik | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cpt.Vollkornn | 694 | 0.10 | 20 min |
| #2 | Vance | 153 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | chavez. | 145 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | X-Black ♛Prince of Nigeria♛ | 127 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Jannik | 113 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -m0a- | +3.56 | 91 | 55 |
| #2 | chavez. | +3.25 | 82 | 72 |
| #3 | Freq. | +1.97 | 78 | 62 |
| #4 | Cpt.Vollkornn | +0.99 | 77 | 74 |
| #5 | Vance | +0.17 | 74 | 68 |





