








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 87 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1746 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,963 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 907 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1664 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2381 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2011 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,098,120 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jannik | 57% | 56 |
| #2 | .mickeyfree | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | Freq. | 53% | 40 |
| #4 | -m0a- | 52% | 148 |
| #5 | Sidney | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cpt.Vollkornn | 19 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | -m0a- | 11 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Jannik | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Freq. | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Sidney | 2 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cpt.Vollkornn | 447 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | -m0a- | 188 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | Jannik | 65 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Nostor#SchlechtesterSpieler | 58 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Freq. | 56 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -m0a- | +4.19 | 92 | 48 |
| #2 | Freq. | +2.64 | 79 | 63 |
| #3 | Sidney | +2.31 | 73 | 36 |
| #4 | Cpt.Vollkornn | +1.94 | 78 | 73 |
| #5 | Nostor#SchlechtesterSpieler | +0.97 | 76 | 57 |





