








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 244 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 289 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2956 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,595 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3995 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3582 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2341 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2677 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $771,023 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 196 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bug temperature | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | AngryCAT | 58% | 24 |
| 45% | 20 | ||
| #4 | The Gay | 44% | 71 |
| 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bug temperature | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | AngryCAT | 58% | 24 |
| 45% | 20 | ||
| #4 | The Gay | 44% | 71 |
| 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Gay | 5 | 0.0034 |
| 5 | 0.0105 | ||
| #3 | AngryCAT | 3 | 0.0064 |
| 3 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Gay | 119 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | AngryCAT | 86 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| 69 | 0.14 | 1 min | ||
| #4 | Bug temperature | 62 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| 13 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bug temperature | +3.98 | 73 | 61 |
| #2 | AngryCAT | +3.93 | 74 | 63 |
| +1.20 | 81 | 35 | ||
| +0.88 | 87 | 49 | ||
| #5 | Sh3W1llB3L0V3D | -1.14 | 56 | 57 |





