








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1118 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,995 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1126 | 38% |
| Smokes | 839 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 517 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 513 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $236,400 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reproach | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | ScaredOfBomb82 | 73% | 26 |
| #3 | Sh3W1llB3L0V3D | 68% | 22 |
| #4 | Drake (60098386) | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | Fire Pooper | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Sh3W1llB3L0V3D | 68% | 22 |
| #4 | Drake (60098386) | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | Fire Pooper | 41% | 29 |
| #6 | Pig Secretion | 40% | 15 |
| #7 | † Paro † | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fire Pooper | 6 | 0.0129 |
| #2 | Pig Secretion | 1 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Drake (60098386) | 1 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sh3W1llB3L0V3D | 87 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | ScaredOfBomb82 | 81 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | † Paro † | 41 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Fire Pooper | 26 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Drake (60098386) | 12 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reproach | +6.01 | 93 | 31 |
| #2 | Bug temperature | +4.47 | 74 | 59 |
| #3 | ScaredOfBomb82 | -0.58 | 71 | 49 |
| #4 | Sh3W1llB3L0V3D | -0.79 | 61 | 62 |
| #5 | † Paro † | -2.37 | 71 | 66 |





