








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 793 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 373 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 143 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5569 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,447 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6825 | 26% |
| Smokes | 8035 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6575 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5012 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,208,406 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 372 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Sniper_SA | 50% | 32 |
| #14 | ☣Cyanide☣Nadal | 50% | 34 |
| #15 | Lutas | 50% | 42 |
| #16 | Mr Miemz | 49% | 103 |
| #17 | FlamingFire | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kassie | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | ☣C≡N☣ - NIKKIE | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | PappaAppel | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Lil Gusto III | 5 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | DieBomYsterKatrol | 4 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☣Cyanide☣SoLλce ZA™ | 537 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #2 | Kassie | 509 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #3 | Tyson | 380 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #4 | DieBomYsterKatrol | 263 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | ☣C≡N☣ - NIKKIE | 259 | 0.06 | 6 min |





